Wednesday, December 31, 2008

2008- The year in review

How was 2008 for you? Here is what happened in my world:

January- I purchased my first home. I am pretty happy in my little condo most of the time. I've had the first time homeowner headaches, such as mice and little repairs to take care of. It's been a good experience though.

February- I got engaged after 5 looonnngggggg years

March- Began planning the wedding and also started getting depressed about the cost of it all!

April- I think that this is when I started to get in a funk. Why? I don't know.


May- Got laid off unexpectedly from my job. It hit me hard. I was unemployed and my fiance started living with me right after he graduated from grad school. So, two broke jobless people were sitting around the house.

June- I turned 26, starting the slope toward 30! I also landed my current job.

July- I can't really remember anything spectacular happening this month.

August- We were in the thick of a big relationship struggle. D was having a hard time getting a job and it was weighing on us.

September- D got a wonderful job!

October- I began experiencing dissatisfaction with my job. Splitting two departments continues to be a struggle for me to grasp.

November- I hosted my parents and a family friend for my first Thanksgiving in my house. And the D got appendicitis Thanksgiving weekend. Our first medical challenge as an engaged couple.

December- Wrapping up the year on a positive note. Me and my girls have formed a self-help group to work on our areas of improvement. I am looking forward to learning what motivates me and how I can really be the woman God intended me to be.

2009 is sure to a great year. I welcome it with open arms. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Monday, December 15, 2008

12 days of Christmas




This year since money is tight, I had the idea for D and me to do the 12 days of Christmas. Today is day two. I made up a list of like 17 ideas for him to pick from ranging from a foot rub, to one glazed Krispy Kreme, a bottle of smart water, and help cleaning out my closet. His list as of last night had the following: Gum and oatmeal cream pies. My special baby.......

Wedding to do's

So far I feel pretty ahead of the curve with wedding planning. I have the following things done:

Coordinator
Venue
Caterer
Cake
DJ
Florist
Photographer
Dress
Bridesmaids dresses picked out
Invites picked out
Began premarital counseling

These things are next on my list:

Order bridesmaids dresses
Order invite materials (I am making them myself)
Book wedding night hotel rooms
Start buying items for bridal party gifts
Work on decor details


I'm sure that there are one million more tiny things that I am not thinking of at the moment but for now that is enough...


Oh, and I have to have this:

Friday, November 28, 2008

Tying up loose ends

Now that Thanksgiving is over (BTW D said it was the best meal I have cooked to date :-), it is time for me to turn my attention to getting ready for 2009. Yep, I am kinda just skipping right over Christmas for the most part and working on some self-improvement. I do not have the funds to buy Christmas gifts this year. Instead, I am going to only get my boo boo something and call it a day. If some of my loved ones decide to give me a gift then I will accept it with a smile and a thanks and stop myself from feeling like I need to reciprocate. That's what the giving spirit of Christmas is about. I am also making cards and other handmade items for my BFF's.

So, I have a short list of things to do before New Years:

1. Order my wedding cake.
2. Get measured for a new bra. Yep, I do not have a clue what size I currently am supposed to have.
3. Make crafts to sell at a X-Mas craft show (I gotta do this soon, the show is on the 13th!)
4. Update my Etsy store.
5. Clean my closet.
6. Plan a dinner with my girls :-)

Ok, I think that I have enough to work on in the next 34 days. Time to start working on it.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Fleas!!

My beloved little Andy Dawg has blessed our home with fleas. I have gave him three flea baths, washed the contents of his kennel twice, washed his beloved comforter that he always sleeps in twice, and now we are prisoners upstairs in our home while the downstairs is being treated with flea spray for the second time! I don't know what else to do. I am tired of little flea bites. I itch just thinking about it. Gross!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

What is this feeling

I am still in a fog. I wake up tired. I come home from work tired. I am dragging my butt during the day at work. I am doing work with people who depress the hell outta me and it's starting to really get to me. Hearing about how someone's electric service is about to be cut off, how people can not afford to buy food, or how people can sometimes abuse "the system" day in and day out is so not cool! I don't mean to be ungrateful. I am happy to just have a job. But, I am the ambitious type, always looking for that next great opportunity. And this thing I am floating in right now just feels stagnant. I keep telling myself to hang on for a least a year and then I am going about my path of becoming an elementary school teacher. It's so weird but I always pictured myself being an administrator in social work but I don't want to get a MSW and I don't want to work for social services. I feel a little bit bad that I am turning my back on the profession I supposedly dedicated myself to, but I gotta fix this feeling. It's just not working

Monday, September 29, 2008

Wedding mess

All this wedding stuff is not worth they hype. I mean I am beginning to wonder why the hell am I even willing to pony up so much money for this one day event. Last night I said to D let's slash the wedding guest list to 50 people but honestly that would hurt a lot of peoples feelings. And then I thought about just eloping but a big part of me wants the actual wedding with everyone that we love there. Wedding planning can suck at times.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

One of those days, weeks, months....?

I think I am having a not so ideal week, but then again last week felt that way too. I am trying to be positive about things but I think I am loosing the battle lately. I'm stressed! My face is broke out like a teenager. I got this weird allergic reaction (to what? IDK!) on my mouth. I'm not feeling "it" this week. I'm.... just...not....that.....into....it. Yep, I wanna crawl back into bed and sleep for the remainder of the week.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Blah

I kinda feel that way right now. D is still struggling to get a job but of course the bills keep coming. I am having a bit of a hard time adjusting to dual roles at my job. I really want to just do one of the jobs, but I think I am being tested by my boss before I can be rewarded with the position that I truly want. I really would like to fast forward just a bit past this sucky part and be in a more comfortable place. I suppose that growth is not always easy, I am just not having the easiest time understanding it.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Nevermind....

After talking all weekend, D and I decided that we need to stay in the condo for another couple of years in order to really be prepared to move onto something bigger and better in the future. Sure we coulda got a bigger house that would fit our lives now but then he brought up the fact that we need at least 4 bedrooms to have space for the children we plan on having. So, we are trying to make the best out of our small space. The spare room has basically been turned into D's closet, with rolling racks and cubes filled with drawers. One day in the not too distant future we will have actual closet space...

Friday, September 5, 2008

All things domestic

After living in my condo for a whopping 9 months, I have decided that it's much to small for me. Esp. with my fiance now living with me. I have contacted a real estate agent and I am about to embark of this wonderful journey of selling and buying real estate. So, know I am working on cleaning this little place till it shines like a penny. I have started with the kitchen and that by itself is taking forever. I had to clean the stove and oven, mop the floor, polish the sink, blah blah blah. But this is a good weekend to take on these domestic responsibilities since Hannah will be blowing through these parts and dumping tons of rain on us. Alrighty, back to cleaning.... joy.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Wedding madness

Why the hell does any and everything having to do with a wedding cost a bajillion dollars? I always thought that I would not be the type of person to put a wedding on credit and be paying for it for years after the "big day" but now I find myself 9 months away from the wedding and really having that to be the only option. My parents are giving us a nice portion of the budget but there are still thousands (thousands!) to be covered after thier contribution. I mean the wedding is about to cost what a new car would! That's just bananas. But it's difficult to stop this train once it's on the tracks. I envisioned a certain look and feel for the ceremony and the reception and now to make it come to life I have to pay, dearly :-(
I can't think about it too much cause it's just a wee bit overwhelming.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Yes we can!

I am so excited about Obama becoming our next president. I am seeing people come around to supporting him now that they realize how utterly stupid it would be to back McCain. Although there are still a few idiots out there who are making the case against Obama with dumb reasons. This morning as I was listening to Russ Parr, this guy called in and said he was going to vote for McCain because having a black man in the white house would ruin our economy. WTF?! Isn't our economy pretty much shit right now? And last I checked a black man was not currently in the white house. Where did this guy get this idea? He later admitted that he's just getting into politics and really doesn't know much about the current state of the government. Or how about the people who are shallow enough to let some moral issues such as gay marriage and abortion be the only reason they pick a candidate. I personally think that these issues are not relevant to how the country is ran. A decision to love someone or what a woman does with her body are personal matters. Politicians know that these issues touch the heart, so they use them to rope in voters who don't truly look at the whole picture.

People: Do not be blinded by small distractions. See the bigger picture, think of our futures! If you don't already have children, chances are you will within 10 years. What kind of country and world do you want your family to inherit? One that has a depleted environment, ongoing wars, poor economy, faltering job market, and filthy rich oil companies? And all that you will be able to say is "At least those gays can't marry!" Yeah, that's really going to matter when you can't work, eat, or put gas in your car! Vote for change. Don't let people tell you that Obama's ideas are impossible.

YES WE CAN and WE WILL! OBAMA/ BIDEN 08 :-)

Monday, August 18, 2008

Slowing down

For the past 6 months I have been going at a frantic pace, working three jobs. I have been thinking about how I don't really have too much time for myself anymore and I came to a decision. I am going to drop my weekend job. It was supposed to be seasonal anyways but they wanted me to stay on indefinitely. Well, I was really tempted to keep going but now it's sinking in that I have other equally important things to do with my time. The wedding planning is kicking into high gear soon, so that will require more time and effort on my part. I am also still trying to get my own business off the ground. I have not made a card to sell in about two months.

I am reclaiming my "me" time!


Sunday, August 17, 2008

Decisions

I am in the middle of deciding on some career changes yet again. I am faced with a difficult situation because I am being offered two positions and each of them are appealing in thier own way. I think that the one that I really want will be challenging because I will be once again supervising someone who is older than me and just plain mean! I was in this situaion before and it was very tough. I was told by the person who offered me this new opportunity that in order to handle that sitation I will need to do one thing: GROW UP! That hit me kinda hard, I mean I thought I was grown. But am I really? I think that in some ways yes (the house, the fiance, the responsible adult like behavior) but the one area where I do sometimes feel immature is the workplace. It can be itimidating and I should learn how to be a better manager. So, I am accepting this challange and I have to remember that ultimately I should strive for excellence.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Sticking with it








I really did try to get a reception venue close to my church so we could switch the ceremony there but alas, there are few and those that I do like are just not in the budget. So, I have made up my mind to just be happy with what I have already booked and throw away all the info on other places. It is just not an option at this point in time. It would have been really cool to have the wedding at the church but it causes so much other drama (color clashes, location) that it is just not worth it. I think that to satisfy my itch to change something I will be still doing bolder colors. I have an article that has a funky modern seaside wedding featured in it and I love the colors. They are blue, purple, and orange. Now I know it sounds strange but the shades are nice. I will try to find and post pics. TTFN.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Ummmmm

I don't really know if this particular entry has a theme. Just getting some thoughts out of my head and onto the blog. My first random thought is how does the day go by so quickly? Well, I think partly it is because for the whole month of August my job has mandated 4 day work weeks with 10 hour days. Yep, that's 8:00 am to 6:00 pm. It sucks balls. I really am not a morning person and although D told me I would get used to it somehow I don't believe him (he needs more people). I will try my best to be a semi-chipper morning person. But first I have to master the whole get out of bed when the alarm clock goes off thing. The snooze button and me are BFF. D has to call me on my cell phone when he sleeps in another room so I actually will get my arse outta bed. Ok, onto other random topics that pop into my head:

I am listening to Goapele "Closer". I used to put this song on repeat and listen to it half the day at my desk, back when I had an actual office. The place I work at now has not allocated me any space. That's tough for a person like me because I love to decorate my little office space with cute doodads and office supplies. So now I have two boxes of ish from my old office that are currently homeless and living in my living room closet.

I think that's about all the random rambling I can do for now. Just felt like I needed to update this here blog. Oh yeah, D is still waiting to hear from like a billion jobs.... Say a prayer for us.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Change of plans?

I tried to get comfortable in one place and buy a condo and settle down but it looks like I may have done that just a little bit too soon. As D is trying to find a job we are noticing that the opportunities available in his field are not very abundant in the area we currently live. So now I am thinking that we might have to uproot in order to find better and more viable opportunities. It is strange to reverse my thinkng from settling down to looking at other cities or states but we have to do what is necesary in order to create the lives we want. We have to start now to lay the foundation for the next few years because before we know it there will more people in our family to consider.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

What’s good for me vs. what’s good to me (a very long post)

I like to think of myself as pretty knowledgeable when it comes to healthy foods and exercise. I have been through personal training, dieting, and have read books and researched how to be healthy. Knowing all of these things I still find myself making daily decisions that are not good for me. I instead choose what is good to me, or what feels good at the moment.

For example, I know that the chicken nuggets, waffle fries, sweet tea, and small ice dream cup that is the meal I get at Chick-fil-a is not good for me. However, in those 15 minutes that I take to consume it, it is good to me.

I also know that my sitting in the house instead of taking a walk or using the fitness center is not good for me. However, not getting hot and sweaty and chilling out is good to me.

I think that if we all get real, I mean really real with ourselves, we will realize that most of the stuff we do and consume is junk! All of the processed food is not good for the body. All of the sugar and sodium were not meant to be consumed. Diet foods with fake chemicals and sweeteners are just not natural. And really, meat is full of hormones, antibiotics, and chemicals too. Dairy is essentially mucous. I know these things and I believe these things. What makes me a bit ashamed is I still consume these things.

I have been phasing out the “bad” things little by little. I switched to organic and natural (paraben and sodium laurel sulfate free) bath and body products. I am switching out my household cleaners for “green” alternatives. This is pretty easy to me.

The difficult piece of this transformation is changing what I consume. I have cut out pork, which is not too big of a deal for me. Never really liked it much to begin with. Next I am on a mission to cut out beef. That should be a little more difficult because I love me some Five Guys about once a week. Then I will work toward reducing my poultry intake. I think that, even though some hard core health freaks say it’s not good for you, I will still keep seafood in my diet. The absolute hardest thing for me to reduce in my diet is processed foods. I try to get the lesser of the evils by buying organic processed food. But none of it is good for me, just good to me. I am not even going to set myself up for failure and say I won’t eat cookies and crackers and french fries from time to time. I just have to reeducate myself on what a treat is. It should be occasional, meaning at a maximum once a week.

The other HUGE barrier to overcome is eating out. I have to actually plan my meals and prepare them at home.

The physical activity component to this will have to be gradual as well. I would like for my friends to partner up with me in this but I may have to do it alone. D will also work out with me.

I have been considering one last thing to get me on the road to a more conscious way of life and feeling better. I would like to do a herbal detox and raw food diet. www.dherbs.com has one that I keep hearing about.

I really do want to look good in the long term, not just feel good in the moment. That would be true great health and happiness.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Shake it off, pat it down, and rise up a little higher

My minister delivered this message in church today. The story goes: There was a mule who got stuck in a hole. No one could get him out. Then someone suggested that they throw dirt on the mules back but not to bury him the hole. When the dirt hit the mule he would shake it off, pat it down into the ground and then he would rise a little but higher until he was finally able to get out of the hole. The point is when people throw dirt on you shake it off, pat it down, and rise a little higher.


My Nana turns 84 tomorrow. We had a dinner for her today but she insisted on doing all the cooking. Pretty cool, huh? A great example of a strong black woman.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

A day off

I am so glad to have tomorrow off from work. It has been such a hectic week. I can say that I feel like I accomplished a lot, so that makes me feel good. I feel more rested today than I have all week and was actually able to make a home cooked meal for dinner (an improvement on last nights Little Cesar pizza picked up by D).
I like being domestic sometimes :-) I am actually looking forward to the day when I can be a stay at home mommy and I can concentrate on cooking more and keeping the house a wee bit more organized (although the children I will be staying at home with will more than likely mess it right back up) Anyways, I guess I will conclude this random post. TTFN.

Monday, July 14, 2008

A few things I am realizing as I continue to grow into myself

1. No matter what the job is, people will get on my nerves. People will try to take my kindness for granted. I gotta make sure that I work hard but play equally as hard or I will burn out.

2. No matter how much money I make I will want to spend it all. Increases in income tend to lead to increases in spending unless I keep a watch on it.

3. I love to eat and I do it for comfort. I don't look like I weigh what I weigh but I still do need to get that under control. And I have been making efforts towards that.

4. I love the idea of organization but putting it into practice.... ummm... not so much.

5. I am turning into my mother in some ways, and turning away from her in others. And I didn't even have to have children yet to realize this.

6. I am a bold contradiction of things: sweet yet bossy, lazy yet hard-working, understanding yet brash, etc..... but that's just who I be!!

Thursday, July 3, 2008

A time for everything

I really admire the drive and energy of those who can pull off doing so much at one time. I strive to be a person who can almost perfectly balance all of the elements of my life. Knowing how I am and all that I strive to achieve, I will have to learn exactly how to work really hard when it's time to work and play really hard when it's time to play. Ok, time to chanel Oprah's energy :-)

Friday, June 27, 2008

It's a process

To do anything well and to maintain it means working at it everyday. I realized that there are truly no days off, at least not from everything. I take the time about once a week to clean and organize the house but I don't spend time each day on the upkeep of my hard work. So, at the end of the week I am once again left with a mess and the overwhelming feeling that comes with it. I can't just take off from cleaning in the middle of the week because of course it will all catch up with me. I know that this seems like common sense but I guess it is just now crossing my mind.

Onto other topics: Today I created a vision board for my life. I have been putting into place the law of attraction into my life. I see that it works. So this vision board is my way of plotting the course ahead and keeping my eyes on my goals. I am very excited about realizing all of my potential.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Wondering

Why are so many people, including myself, overweight? I think it comes down to two major causes: laziness and poor planning. For example- I have been working a new job since last week. This job has me out in the community so there is no lunch room to store a lean cuisine or other healthy lunch options. Of course I could pack a salad or a sandwich or something like that, but I don't. So for the past two weeks I have ate lunch out everyday. This is not good for my waistline nor my wallet. I know that I am not the only one who does this. It is just so convenient to go out and let someone else prepare your food for you. I actually like to cook but lately I have been having to drag myself into the kitchen to make meals. How am I going to cope when I have to feed kids? I always said I would not be one of those moms who feed her kids McDonald's or other junk on a regular basis, however I can now clearly see how that happens.

But onto another topic that is related: I love my job! I know it's early but I have picked up on positive vibes from those people I work with and I believe that this job will finally offer me a real chance and professional and personal growth. I am on my grind with my eye on retiring at the age of 55.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Back on the wagon

I have been so bad with weight watchers here lately. I need to tap back into my motivation and really buckle down and do this. Especially because I have so many things to look my best for coming up in the next 10 months. I know it will be difficult but I just need to do it. So here goes my billioneth attempt at living a somewhat healthy lifestyle. I will miss Five Guys :-(

Sunday, June 22, 2008

26 years


Happy Birthday to me! I don't quite feel any different yet but I guess 26 feels no different then 25.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Grindin

Lately I have been all about the hustle. I am working on my full time job (which I love by the way) two part-time ones (which offer me the luxury of a discount at three nice stores), and I am in the process of launching my crafts business. Also, I am going to be helping a friend/associate start up his non-profit organization.

I am soooo excited about setting goals, visioning them, and watching them come to fruition.

Monday, June 16, 2008

I just wanted to say...


Happy 50th post to me!!!!!!!

Lol a lil more

Exactly...



My friends might just do this at the wedding...



Yep...

A new start

It is amazing what a new job ( at a place where you already know the people) can do to improve one's outlook. I started my new job today and it felt like home. I did my internship there four years ago. At that time I was very much appreciated although I was an unpaid overworked college student. My supervisor gave me lots of guidance and many a great recommendation. The other department I interned in gave me a going away party, which according to them, they had never done for their previous interns.

Now that I am back with many of the people I was with before I know that I will not only work hard but be rewarded for it in so many ways. It's crazy, but all of the experiences I had between my internship and now prepared me for the unique skill set that is required of the current job I have. I often wondered why I did not get a job at this place after I completed my internship and now I have the answer. God wanted me to gain the experiences to have the right knowledge and an appreciation for good people. As a 22 year old I would have not fully realized what a blessing it is to be with genuine people. And although I made more money working at a different job, I had to trade off being respected. That is not the case anymore.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Warm fuzzies...

mixed with a little bit of frustration. The engagement party was this weekend and it was nice. I liked seeing the room full of people there to support us as we embark on this journey together. I just wish that my mom would chill out. I mean seriously, it's ridiculous. There were plenty of people on-hand to help her set up and clean up but she was still having a fit over getting stuff done. I am soooooo glad that we hired a wedding coordinator because she would have a melt down on the wedding day if she had to handle it.

On another note, I think that the combining of families will be quite interesting. We are so different from each other. One glaring difference is my family is on time to stuff and his.. not so much.

As we delve more into this process I feel the pressures from various family members to move the wedding up or to have it at a church or to have children there. I know it may be difficult for a lot of my family to understand, but we (as in myself and my fiance) are going to do this thing the way we see fit.

Weddings bring out the best and the worse in people and I am really grateful that I have people in my life to ground me (thanks bridesmaids)

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Miami

I had my first trip to Miami the over the weekend and it was, for the most part, very nice. The weather was perfect and it was actually hotter at home than it was there. I just wish that I could have had some time to look at it through the lens of a 20-something person and not feel like a child the whole time. Being on a trip with your mom, grandma, and auntie will do that to you. My mom refused to let me drive the rental car, even when she was in it. She actually said " I am not letting my baby drive in Miami and go off by herself." Huh? Last I checked I was a full-grown woman with a mortgage, car payment, fiance, and a dog. In other words, I am responsible. But to her I am still a child. So if she wanted me to be a child then that's what I was. I threw a full on tantrum. Oh, I also got mad with my grandma who said I couldn't drive anywhere because I had one drink, three hours prior! WOW!!!

Well, now that I am experienced the Mia, I plan to go back with my girls. I know that we will paint the town pink :-)

Thursday, June 5, 2008

So... ummmmm

I am laying in bed beside my sleeping fiance blogging at 1:30 am. I think the whole unemployment thing has gotten old now! I keep the craziest schedule. Up all night and sleep all day. I know I will be kicking myself when it comes time to rejoin the real world. I have been able to do a few cool things though, such as clean my house and start my own Etsy store, trinababy7.etsy.com (shameless plug for the 3 people in this world who read my lil blog) Anyways, I guess I better get some sleep.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Job searching.....

I am still in the thick of looking for a job. I know that the process is going pretty well because I have had the opportunity to go one three first interviews and one second interview. I am trying to use this "free" time to improve upon myself by reading books on how to improve my career, cleaning up the house, and working on my fitness. I guess there are still things to accomplish around here and that's why I haven't been offered anything....

Monday, May 26, 2008

Lovely day

Today was so pretty. It was nice to spend time chilling out with my family and enjoying the sunshine. The food was good, the company was nice, and the weather was hot but there was still a breeze. Now it is back to the grind of applying for and interviewing for jobs and..... SATC day is Friday :-)

Thursday, May 22, 2008

The "Perfect" wedding

Since I have began this process of planning our wedding, I have been doing a lot of research. Looking at wedding books and magazines, I come across the phrase "Perfect Wedding" all too often. I think that the idea of a perfect anything is absolutely ridiculous. This is why women turn into super bitchy bridezillas. They have the expectation that everyone and everything surrounding "their" day will be so perfect. I try to keep it real with myself. This is our wedding, not my friends or family. Yes, I know they are happy for us and are willing to help but their lives continue to go on. And really ours do to. I can't drop everything to plan a one day event. I have to actually do other stuff! I think it's wonderful that my friends are helping me out when I ask them to. I love that they bring ideas to the table. Do I expect them to be my bridal slaves? NO. Do I expect them to think every detail is interesting. NO. And that's fine. Sometimes the details bore me! :-) I just want this to be a fun (for the most part) process and I want the wedding day to be a kick ass party that starts a lifetime of good times for us. It's only the beginning of our journey as a family. I am already looking past that to the kids we will have, the big house we will buy, the traveling we will do, the quality time spent with our friends, us being able to retire together and sit on the porch in our swing and play with our grandbabies. That stuff is not perfect but it's real.

Friday, May 16, 2008

What I love about the warm weather

The ease of getting dressed. Just throw on a dress or a tank top and shorts and flip flops.
The sunshine with a slight breeze.
Flowers blooming in all kind of colors.
Andy sunbathing until he's literally a hot dog!
The strawberries in my garden becoming ripe.
Fresh tomatoes with dinner, sprinkled with salt and pepper and just a bit of mayo. So yummy!
Grilling dinner for my sweetie.
How good the AC feels in the car or the house after being outside.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

So much done but so much left to do

I feel very "in the middle" right now. I am in the middle of getting the house organized and ready for my fiance and all of his things. I am in the middle of my process of job hunting. I am also in the middle of figuring out what my next career move will be. I want to do something different but at the same time I have to get something to pay the bills. The best I can come up with right now is to work on my dream part time until I can make a living out of it.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Random facts about me

I am obsessed with magazines (last week I was in the store looking for one that I haven't read or purchased and I could not find one out of the 12 or so I read).

I have recently developed a love for asparagus.

I make up songs about my dog.

I really want to have my own business doing scrapbooks, making cards, and other creative things.

I like to garden. I think it's a nice, peaceful feeling to play in the dirt.

I go to Target at least once every week.

I think pink is a great color :-)

I can make a meal out of bread.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Clearing out the clutter

It feels good. It's like with every piece of junk I get rid of I can breathe just a little bit easier. Today I am working on everything that I have downstairs in my storage closet, living room, and kitchen pantry. Tomorrow I will tackle the upstairs spare room and my bedroom. This is just one way that I am making the most out of my time as I wait for God to bring me my next job. After I get my house (literally) in order then it's time to re-focus on my body. I have turned to comfort food in the last two weeks and gotten away from healthy eating and activity. Alrighty, back to my tasks.... ttyl :-)

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

I have made up my mind

I have decided to stop being bitter about what happened to me. I am not going to cry about it any more. It's not worth it. It just isn't. I realized that it really did happen for a reason. I am not sure how long it will be before the next opportunity comes along for me. But when it does come along it should be great. CORRECTION: It WILL be great!!! (thanks Keika :-) )

Monday, May 5, 2008

As I try to turn this thing around...

I guess the first task at hand is to physically clean house! I have to make room for my fiance and all of his things so that I won't loose my mind when he gets here in a few weeks. I think that a clean and organized surrounding can lead to more clear thinking. So here I go.... it's going to take a while.

Going through some things

I am trying to get through this sudden change in my life and cope with it the best way I know how. At times I get really sad and I just want to cry. Sometimes I get livid and want to break things. And then there are those rare moments when I realize that I can take the opportunity to rest, re-focus, and change some things about myself and my life. Each day I know it will get a little bit better, until I get that new exciting job offer and things really start to look up.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Going Green

So, I am trying to make the change over to a more green lifestyle. To start with I already have energy effecient light bulbs all over my house. I am gettting back into recycling at home and the office. I try to eat organic when possible. And I am switching to all organic body care products. A few favorites:









I also like Jason Natural and Organic unscented body wash and Toms of Maine toothpaste.
Method makes good housecleaning products and so does seventh generation.







Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Counting my blessings

A loving fiance
A great family
Great friends, that have been in my life for 10-15 years!
Andy Dawg!!!!
A house that I own, even if it's a small one
A little back yard to grow flowers, veggies, and herbs
A job, although my hours have been cut, that pays the bills
Food on my table
Good health
A car to get me around

Getting to the year mark!

In just a few days I can tell people that I am getting married in a year (less than one). Wow! I see so many wonderful changes coming my way and I am ready to embrace it. I have been thinking about how to handle the whole job situation and this might be all a test for me. Maybe I need to hang in there longer to see exactly what is in it for me. I am making progress slowly but surely on improving things.
On other topics... I am very proud of myself for working out today. I got in 30 minutes of cardio, which is a start!

Monday, April 28, 2008

What a weekend!

I feel like I never got a chance to really rest. Went out Friday night, got in at 3:00 am, went to work at 9:00 the next morning, got off at 2:00, went home to shower and change, drove to my parents house for my mom's spa party, came back home around 7:00. Cleaned and did stuff around the house, had a major allergy attack, sweetie got there around 11:30, went to bed after taking 2 benadryl, didn't get to enjoy any time with sweetie, got up the next morning and went back to work from 11-3:30, grocery shopped, cleaned, had Peachez over to discuss DJ'ing the wedding, cooked dinner, did laundry, got a little bit of quality time with sweetie and went to bed!

Friday, April 25, 2008

Going out

I'm about to start getting ready for the white party and I am thinking about how going out is not really what it used to be. I am off the market now so I don't really see a reason to display all the goods.

sitting in the food court

I just went shopping for an outfit for the all white party tonite. I did not want to go but I am doing it for my friend. This 10 dollar party quickly turned into 100 plus... I'm so tired right now. I feel to0 old to only be 25!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Untitled

Don't really know what to title this one...
I am done with the school year!! Yay!!
I am thinking about this weight loss journey that I am on as I look at my new issue of "Self" magazine. Every woman's magazine that I read always has a cover story that touts how someone can loose 5, 10, 15, 20 pounds in 1, 2, 3, 4 weeks! By eating weird limiting diets or working out like a mad woman. I really want to loose weight but I love to eat! And food makes me happy.
When I think back to when I lost 30 pound or so, back in 2004, I realize that what I did back then is harder for me to do now. I worked out in a rural area and would eat lean cuisines every day for lunch. The temptation to go out and eat was simply not there because there was nothing around. But now I am surrounded by lunch carts, deli's, pizza joints, and coffee houses. And almost every day I give in to temptation. I think that I am getting better slowly but surely. I have made my own breakfast at least once this week and ate lunch from home too. At least its a start!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Update

Still blogging instead of writing my paper :-) Actually I have three of nine pages complete and both genograms drawn so I have gotten somewhere. I need to take some time to figure out why I am the most unmotivated grad student on the face of the earth. I already made the decision to take a break from school but after the break then what? I kinda have the feeling that by time I figure out what I am doing with myself me and my future husband will already be in the process of starting a family. Speaking of which, in planning for the future I am a little torn between waiting a few years to have a baby or doing it sooner. Sometimes when I am around little ones I get the longing to start a family within the next three years instead of five. But in talking to people who have experience with the whole marriage/kid thing, the vote is always to wait a little while. My logical mind says to wait but the whole girly emotional mind says "awwww cute babies!"

Uhhhhhh yeah

I am supposed to be typing my last paper for the semester and I really don't feel motivation to start on it. Instead I want to watch the primary results from PA (GOBAMA!!!) and read my magazines. I really have an obsession with magazines I think. I read way too many of them :-) Well, anyways, I am trying to make the most out of the time that I have at my job. I am not quite sure if this job that I have an interview for on Thursday is for me. I mean I like the money that it would bring but I gotta make my move based on more than just $$$. And I feel a bit more hopeful about having success in my current position. I just gotta push past my current comfort levels. I admit this about myself, I tend to quit when things get hard instead of pushing through. It is a quality that I really would like to work on. Ok, let me stop bojangling and work on this paper.

Monday, April 21, 2008

I want to be....

that woman who has the banging figure, that woman who dresses nicely with beautiful hair, nails, and makeup, that woman who is always organized with a clean house, that woman who can get up in the morning and make the most out of each day regardless of what obstacles stand in her way, that woman who maintains meaningful connections with her friends, that woman who keeps her man satisfied physically, mentally, spirituality, and emotionally, that woman who knows when to spend and when to save, that woman who will make you smile or offer you great advice, that woman who is successful in all of her professional endeavors. So which one of these qualities will I strive for today....?

Saturday, April 19, 2008

I'm too lazy

And that's a problem. It's not like I don't have things to do that should be filling my time so why I am just sitting here on the computer? It's because I am lazy. Yeah.... gotta fix that. Ok, I'll get up and do something :-)

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Once again here I am....

Writing a paper the night before it's due. I don't quite understand why I always do this. I know that I have got to get better about it. Right now I am trying to figure out if it is worth it to go to school next semester to get the certificate in non-profit management or if I should just put it off for a year while we plan the wedding. There are definitely other areas of my life that could use some TLC and attention so I will give it some thought. I am glad that I had a pretty productive day at work though. I overslept a bit but once I got there I cranked out a really good document that has all the information about where I am at in different areas. At first all of the rejection that I have been getting lately was really getting to me and I had a mini-breakdown. I even ate lunch outside of the office and looked at a magazine to try to take my mind off of things. But when I set foot back into the office I shed a few tears because I was overwhelmed by it all. Yesterday I saw a note to my boss from his boss that told him if I can't grow the Richmond area then he needs to find someone who will. Well, I am trying! I know that I am up against a lot of things and yet I continue to plug along. Right now it is a tough time, but I will keep going until it's time to move on. Alrighty, let me get to this paper. I am SOOOO ready for this semester to end. Just three more weeks. WHOOOO - HOOOO!!!!

Monday, April 14, 2008

Better today

So today I actually made it to work within 30 minutes of my target time, YES! That is a start, considering the temptation to sleep in was a great as ever since I only got about 5 hours of sleep. But I still feel energized today. I have been a wee bit slack though. I have a list of things to get done and I have only really checked off one. But I have a few more hours. So I can still get it all done. And then its on to working on my paper for the reaminder of the day. I will finish up the semester strong.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Ummmm yeah......

I am sooooo unproductive. And it makes no sense. I have not done much for my paper this weekend, knowing full well it is due on Wednesday. Every week I try to start fresh and get better about everything. This time I am going to actually do it. I will be better about my school work and I will finish the semester out strongly. I only have three more classes to go. I will get up on time like I should and be productive. I will track my points for Weight Wathchers and see success with my weight loss. I will feel good and energized and be in a happy mood. Great health, wealth, and success is mine! I am claiming the good things.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

can't stop eating!

I have this clear vision of what I want to look like and how I want to feel but yet when it comes time to put it into action... Sigh... I just don't know. Food is so good and I do realize that I eat out of boredum. I just need to get it together

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Wide awake yet again

I am so dumb sometimes. Like an ass I drank a jamoca shake at like 4:30 this afternoon and I really think that it is keeping me up. I don't think I will be sleeping tonight. Damn damn damn

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Why......?

Can't I get my stuff together. I have been so unproductive this week. Well, I have done a few good things. I have started back on WW since yesterday and was accountable for all the points I took in although I had a huge Qdoba burrito that was 23 points! Good thing it was my lunch and dinner. I did my group presentation in class yesterday and got my paper done at the last minute. I interviewed for the part time job at Maymont. But I have been incredibly unproductive with work. I have been sooooo tired but really it's just the same stuff I always struggle with. Staying up half the night and then sleeping half the day. I need to make myself get out the bed tomorrow early so I can stop this ridiculous pattern that I am in. I have a feeling that it will bite me in the ass if I don't. The good thing is I was feeling crappy because of my allergies but now I am feeling better.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Blah yet again...

So here I am sipping on some tea trying to soothe my sore throat. I feel so blah and I so much wanted this week to be better. Well, I still have Weds-Sun to work on things. I have a 3 page paper due tomorrow that I have yet to even really begin. And a group presentation to do tomorrow. So to combine this with not feeling well really sucks. I will push through it though...

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

why am I still awake?

I think that I am so tired that I can't sleep. I know that sounds a little strange but it happens to me sometimes. I still feel blah and I am trying to get out of this funk that's been hanging over me. I can't seem to make the most out of all the hours in a day. Sleep too late, laze around the house with Andy, don't get my piles of laundry done, don't wash all the dishes, waste time on facebook, look up random wedding shit. Go into work and be half way productive. Sigh.......................

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Engaged! ha ha ha ha

We got up at the crack of noon today and I made brunch. Pancakes, eggs, bacon, and OJ. We were eating and Andy was begging and Dwayne starts to talk about how I know he has a hard time not being able to control the future and he has struggled with it for quite some time. But he wants to take control of the future with me. He asked would I do that and I said of course honey! Then he got down on his knee, pulled out the ring, and asked me to marry him. Of course I said yes. Yay! A proposal over pancakes in our new home.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Ummmm yeah

I really should be working on my paper right now.... but I don't much feel like it. I am not really motivated to be in school right now period. I know that in the end it will pay off for me but still I hate all the extra work involved. My job offers enough of that for me at the time. I am feeling a little stressed out and I would really like to go get a massage..... yummy!

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Uninspired

So for about the last two weeks I have felt so very blah..... I have been up half the night and sleeping half the day. I have not been as productive as I know I could be and I just don't really know exactly why?! With January behind me I now am thinking about how far I have come along on my "resolutions" and I now feel like it is time to re-think and revise them just a little bit. I have been doing so-so on Weight Watchers having lost 3 lbs. the first week but then I did not go to the meeting last week due to a work obligation. Which I guess was a good thing because my eating was not the best. I have been back on track this past week and I am looking forward to showing progress when I weigh in on Tuesday. My goal for myself is to loose at least 26 lbs. by my 26th birthday. That means I need to loose about a pound a week. That's very doable. Onto other subjects....
I have been thinking about a five year plan. So far I have figured out a few things. I should be done with my masters degree in May 2011. I plan on staying at my current job until then so that I can have a solid resume because right now it looks kinda raggedy (5 jobs in 2007!!!). I want just this one job for 2008 and beyond. I really want to concentrate on paying down my student loan debt by at least 50% in the next 5 years and save a lot of money for future endeavors. Dwayne and I have discussed moving to North Carolina and I think that will be a good idea. So that is the plan for after I graduate. I am going to sell the condo (hopefully) and we will buy our dream home that we will start our family in. It is quite overwhelming to think about all of this because that means in 5 years or so I will be married and having babies and in another state! Am I really a grown up now?!! I guess so. Wow! When did all of that happen....?

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

New beginnings

Well I am mostly moved into my new condo. I have stuff everywhere and when I walk in the door its a bit overwhelming. I am happy to be there though because I am so much closer to work and school. Andy joined me last nite and he is very confused to be in a new place. Tonite I start the Spring semester of my first year of grad school. I am so not ready to get back into reading and writing papers but oh well, its happening anyway. I just started back on Weight Watchers again today. I have a goal of loosing 26 pounds before my 26th birthday. I think that I can achieve this goal with a few lifestyle changes. Work is going well, just very busy making some admistrative changes so that my staff will be more productive. I really am still excited about 2008. I feel a great amount of joy when I think about what is ahead :-)

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

My first post

I'm really new at this so here it goes! I guess I started this to be a place where I could get my thoughts out. I used to be really big on writing in my journal but nowadays I am too tired to even think about picking it up when I get home. I have so much going on in right now. I am experiencing a lot of growth in my life. Most of it is good so that is wonderful. I am working hard at a job that I love (well most of the time), enrolled in grad school (which is a pain in the ass but well worth it... I hope), buying a condo (yay!), and about to embark on yet another attempt at weight loss. I am excited to see what 2008 will bring for me. In my heart I know its great things!