Thursday, July 5, 2012

Frustrations

I am very frustrated right now and I just needed to let it all out. So bear with me for a little bit, ok?

My son is 9 months old, and since he has entered daycare at the age of 4 months old, he has had one illness after the other. RSV, pinkeye, ear infection, roseola, ear infection again, pinkeye again, ear infection again, and more ear infections. I feel immense guilt for having to put him in daycare but the numbers just don't work out so that I can stay home. But the stupid thing about it is that we miss so much time from work in order to take him to doctor appointments or keep him out of daycare to rest and get better. He has been to the ER once, urgent care 3 or 4 times and to his doctor for sick visits about 10 times in addition to well child checks. This adds up to extra time and money and overall feelings of utter frustration.

Tonight is a particularly rough night. He has another ear infection and it has been determined that he needs to see an ENT for evaluation for tubes. In the meantime, his pediatrician told us to put him back on the Augmentin to suppress his current infection (it won't heal it up completely). He came home from daycare today with a butt so red and blistery, I literally gasped when I changed his diaper. Then his face broke out this evening and he was scratching at it so much he drew blood. He has been screaming at us for hours and I just want to go in the corner and cry. I hope and pray that the tubes will end these ongoing ear infections. My child can be so happy and fun but it's trying to hear screaming and deal with fits for hours on end. I need him to be well. I need him to be free of illness. I need him to be healthy.

To be honest with myself (and my one or two readers), this whole ordeal has me questioning if we will try to have anymore babies. I always thought I would want to try for a girl if I had a boy first but I just don't know anymore.

Just my thoughts for now. I am sure that they will change depending on the day.

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